I found my husband on a dating website
You can care for, respond to, and respect another only as deeply as you know him or her.
The effect of genuine, other-oriented giving is profound.
One month later, I checked his phone and found he had saved the woman’s number under another name and had been phoning her constantly, and texting her at 2am when I went to bed and also throughout the day – even when he went to the shops to get nappies.
In the pre-internet age, with the phone in the hall way, a phone call after ten o’clock would be an emergency – like a teenager stranded at a party or the death of a family member.
These may be the seeds of love, but they have yet to sprout.
Obviously, there's a huge distance from here to the far more profound, personal love developed over the years, especially in marriage. Susan learned about this foundation of love after becoming engaged to David.True giving, as Erich Fromm points out, is other-oriented, and requires four elements.